Archive for the ‘Depression?’ Category

“German Bites White Fisher” Shock ?   Leave a comment

Sunny Sunday. Another great day, in terms of weather. I’m hopeful that it will be a good day in terms of my internal weather…………

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  • Starting with thick fog in the low-lying areas plus a depression stuck over the littoral.
  • This is a hang over from Hurricane Cider, now dying away in the North Atlantic.
  • Good prospects of higher pressure and warm currants after tea (2 mugs and rising).
  • Massage due at 1030h BST, visibility poor, but increasing with spectacle-wearing.
  • Underlying Optimism following the Force 6 Interview on Friday.
  • Risk of Precipitation should Optimism rise to a Force 8 Presumption.
  • Feldenkrais due Monday afternoon. Improving body balance and posture likely.

Back to the fasting tomorrow. I need the focus – job interviews in London then Eastleigh made it difficult to plan and monitor what I ate. The downturn/recession yesterday [without the motivation of things to do] allowed my bingeing & alcoholic gremlins to get a grip.

The good news, yesterday, was that I was down to 90kg, so I need to remember the bigger picture – that this “diet” seems to be working. I’m certainly feeling better with both the weight dropping and muscles strengthening.

Melon Coal Here. Does it exist?   1 comment

I’m back on a calorie-reduction day – and struggling with motivation, as my mood is very low.

All the stress of potential change, plus being on Job Seeker’s Allowance, plus no repairs being done to this flat despite constant pressure. This all triggers my “rejection” button, or the “I’m a failure” bit of Mind Malware. Having the focus of “fasting” is, actually, quite useful in helping me to focus on something and not being drawn into eating or drinking [alcohol] to fill the emotional hole inside me.

Moan over.

I’ve had to be a bit flexible today as regards when I started the 24 hours of “fast”. I was away and it wasn’t until mid-morning that I got back home [Bristol, UK, in case you’re interested]. Hence I’ve started after “lunch” today, so I’ll see if it feels different to starting after breakfast.

Still 91kg when I weighed in at the gym, so that feels good that I’ve stabilised a bit, rather than bounced back to 92kg+.

√1 = ?

The Benefits of Gym-Induced Endorphins?   Leave a comment

29Aug, 1915h: Having been in a very depressed state yesterday, I’ve got back to a more even state of mind this afternoon/evening. My second day of reduced-calorie-intake [challenge: invent an acronym to use instead of “fast” that is snappy AND conveys the idea of CR or IF ]….and the hunger pangs are starting now.

I was still depressed, unmotivated, etc. this morning. At least I had the incentive of having to drop off my car at UK Car Body Repairs [another insurance claim…why do people keep clipping my nearside front wing??]. I, then, went to my gym as I know it helps me switch off my monkey-mind AND I’m on a mission to lose weight and get healthy (or healthier) AND to keep that going into my old age.

Think the smell of sweat and Kerrang at full volume!

A good session – I’ve changed from my fairly lackadaisical regime of repetitions, with relatively low weights. I’m now, after Craig (trainer/owner at Workout Bristol), suggested my knee would benefit from resistance work. He’s right, as my knee already feels a little more stable/activated/strong…hard to describe or quantify.

As for the “fast” – I had a larger breakfast this morning, using up all of my 600kcals allowance. Hence, nothing since, except black coffee & herbal tea* [I’m telling myself that black coffee has no calorific content/value…..it has anything from 5 to 25kcal per mug, depending who you believe (see yesterday’s post)]. Now I find that coffee can help us keep, or even produce, fat …..so, as with all dieting, health, etc., there is LOTS of information out there and it’s easy to get fixated on DOs and DON’Ts.

I’m trying hard to stay relaxed about it all – while keeping focussed.

Hunk, huh?

* and much water, of course.